Mirror

Oh twin soul!
You called me  beautiful, capable, brave...
only to realize 
I have been fed by antonyms
which I carry in my pocket like poetry
reducing me to nothingness,
waking the
Plain
Incapable
Coward 
asleep deep down inside...
Liar! Liar!  

Soulmates

True love 

is soul's recognition of its counterpart in another...

I reiterated 

the cheesy lines from a Hollywood pic to him.

One thing I know, 

he said,
the hardest thing is to love, 

to be loved 

and to be always in love...

No matter how hard, 

thought I, 

isn't love and its recognition

the only thing which the soul craves for 

and makes it complete?

Fly Me Back to the State of Dreamlessness

Fly me back to the state of dreamlessness,

where nothing exists 

but heavy emptiness;
where sleep demands no dreaming
and wakefulness expects 

just daily fulfillment
of chores and other errands...

Fly me back to the state of dreamlessness,
Where loneliness is just a state of mind,

and creativity not demanded;
where one is not tormented 

by desires or expectations
but just the daily fulfillment
of chores and other errands...

Alice in Realityland #3

" Ask her to take me mom. I want to go with her..." cried lil Alice stubbornly to make her teenaged elder sister relent. " Why does she have to tag along everywhere I go?", replied Rachel exasperated. " Rachel take her with you.  Otherwise... you are not stepping out of this house." Ordered mother. No option but to accede, angrily she turned to Alice and called her a " pest" and stormed out . Lil Alice went behind her sis giggling. She had won. If she hadn't yielded to her mom's words Rachel could not have gone for her daily bicycle ride in the evening.

Cycling on her red bicycle , carefree, was something Rachel enjoyed most especially during her summer vacation when she was stuck up at home most of the time. In the evenings she used to pedal along the street slowly and leisurely enjoying her time alone with herself. Today Alice had forcefully joined in. Although she was angry initially , Rachel slowly calmed down.  When ever she was cycling a little ditty would come to her mind and she would sing aloud. Today lil Alice joined with her. Rachel sang the first line " Land of silver birch..." " Home of the Beaver..." Sang  Alice and together continued singing the lines describing a faraway land which they had no inkling about.

As they rode along the narrow streets of the sleepy town, where everyone knew everyone, a gang of three young boys  a lil older than Rachel suddenly came in and started circling around her bicycle. They were whistling aloud. They have been nagging her for sometime now. "I love you Rachel" , cried out one. Although she was fuming red, she didn't answer back. She knew she had to take care of the lil one. "Why can't you say yes? I've been waiting for so long" he added. Lil Alice just sat there blinking not knowing what she should do. "Get lost you jerk" replied Rachel quite boldly and somehow managed to steer off when she saw some elders approaching.

As they continued on with their ride lil Alice couldn't hide her curiosity. "Can I ask u something Rach?  " she enquired to which her sister irritably countered "what now?"
"Will you get pregnant with a baby" asked Lil Alice seriously.
"What?? Why are you asking me such a question?"  quipped her sis.
"That guy said 'I Love You' right. I think you are pregnant now".
 Unable to hold on to her laughter Rachel replied "how did you get such an idea? Baby's are not made that way. You are too little to understand it right now. When you grow up you will..."

This was an eye opener to lil Alice. She had always thought that if a guy either touched or said I love you or even winked you get pregnant. When she told her sis about this she laughed her lungs out. She then understood that she had to go a long way to understand such complicated things and started singing where they had left off.

#Alice in Realityland

Alice in Realityland #2

That morning she was crying hard. The previous night had left her exhausted. Her baby was sound asleep. Everything looked peaceful and calm , but she just couldn't hold on to her tears. Her whole body was aching. Her breasts sore. " This is how life is!" exclaimed her mother. " Did you think that motherhood was a cakewalk? Every woman has to go through this. So stop crying! ." Although she was drowning in her own tears she didn't utter a word. Everyday seemed more  rigorous and her body seemed to be wearing down despite of it being more than a month since she had her baby. She had no one to confide. She had thought that having a baby was all that she wanted. She had dreamt of it as just baby giggles and happy times... as picture perfect as in the ads. She had waited for this moment for so long... but now she feels like she just can't handle it anymore. She felt imprisoned by her own body and her duties. There were moments when she felt like running away.

Suddenly she could understand it completely. The woman jumping off the hospital building two days after giving birth. All those who read the newspaper article had thought she was crazy. But now it made complete sense. Complete sense!

#Alice in Realityland# Postpartum needs emotional care# It is real!

Alice in Realityland

Little Alice gaped wide eyed. She had never seen so many toys under a single roof her entire life. While walking through the aisles, clutching her mother's hands,  amongst the racks filled with innumerable toys she was absolutely astounded . A miniature glass dancing doll caught her attention. Seeing her standing there arrested for awhile mom said "so baby, you seem to like this one", to which li'l Alice nodded with eagerness. " But darling" continued mother, " you must understand that this is too delicate for you to handle and if at any point you are careless you will break it, which will leave you heartbroken...". She handed another beautiful and sturdy doll to her and said "Take this love. Although it's a li'l  expensive it's gonna last you a lifetime". Teary eyed, li'l Alice succumbed to her mom's wish. After all what mother says must be right she thought.

Although she was proud to own this new doll, li'l Alice truly smiled only in her dreams when she could see herself dancing among the stars with her li'l glass doll.

# AliceinRealityland